“The House I Keep” is a short film about loss that centers around a woman trying to come to terms with a recent miscarriage. In 2007, with one healthy two-year-old child, writer/producer Jhene Erwin and her husband decided it was time to have another baby.  Six weeks into her pregnancy, she miscarried.  Her second miscarriage, of twins, occurred at eleven weeks. What followed was a mourning process the intensity of which was most surprising to Jhene herself.  A published poet, she began writing to try to come to terms with the loss. Daily life became a challenge as she struggled to reconnect to a world that held no evidence of what for her, was a seismic event. The poetry Jhene wrote serves as the narrative for this six minute short film. 

In "The House I Keep," we experience the life of the lead character Nicole, as she grapples with her day, six weeks after suffering a miscarriage. What lies beneath a thin veneer of normality is a rage and a sorrow that isolates and warps. She struggles to come to terms with the loss of something that was, but never was. Something that she alone felt as real.  It is in the war between her internal and external life that we come to understand the conflicts that have plagued her recovery.   What is remarkable about this day is that she stumbles upon a symbol of hope that will ultimately lead her back to peace.

While developing and fundraising for The House I Keep, Erwin has been overwhelmed by the heartbreaking stories of miscarriage that women have felt compelled to share.  At fundraising events despite the fact that some of the women attending had known each other for years, they heard friends’ experiences of miscarriage for the first time. It is surprising that with 40 to 50 percent of pregnancies ending in miscarriage according to Woman Doctor's Guide to Miscarriage by Lynn Friedman, M.D, discussion of the subject even among family and close friends is uncomfortable and rare. Family scientist John DeFain states, "There's no cultural mechanism to mourn the loss.  People who experience miscarriage often suffer silently in that void.” In an age when women have unprecedented control over their reproductive system and multiple births are celebrated in the media, miscarriage is a topic that is seemingly taboo. In the past it was thought that women who miscarried were somehow responsible for the loss. Despite the fact that this belief is almost entirely mistaken, the shame it provoked still lingers.

After Jhene’s own experiences she was driven to create something beautiful that would not have existed had she not miscarried. What resulted was her film, which has since provided that “appropriate place” to many other women who want to share their own stories. Jhene’s mission for the film is to improve the mental health of women and their families mourning miscarriage by providing an identifiable voice through her film. The film has become a platform for discussion and understanding, and hence, an impetus for healing.

The film stands on its own as a powerful story of loss and redemption. In 2010 the film will be submitted to film festivals internationally including Sundance, South by Southwest, and the Toronto International Film Festival. After securing distribution, the House I Keep will then be taken to organizations such as Parents Support of Puget Sound, and to similar organizations throughout the United States, to be used as a tool for healing and discussion. The depression and anxiety that often affects women who have miscarried is inevitably more pervasive in underserved populations who may feel isolated and without assistance. The filmmakers aim to take The House I Keep to centers for low-income families like the Urban Institute and Community Health Care Networks nationwide to be used as a vehicle for sharing, mobilizing and publicizing resources available to women who suffer miscarriage.